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It isn’t every day you can watch Andrew “Dice” Clay slap around Johnny Depp in a movie. Or see Blanche from the Grease movies down a whole bottle of Quaaludes. Or see Hector Elizondo running around with a reverse Mohawk…. the list goes on. But these are just some of the things you’ll see in this very enjoyable comedy from a bye gone era of film-making. Private Resort has a plot so minimal that one really would be hard pressed to describe it. I guess you could say that it is about two young men (Depp & Morrow) who visit a posh oceanside resort hoping to meet girls. They meet several, and along the way they get mixed up with an evil jewel thief played by Hector Elizondo. The action is played out in a series of chase scenes through the hotel, attempted hook-ups, and even a shootout at the end. Roll credits.
Private Resort scores on many fronts. First of all, this film knows it’s a sex comedy. So it also knows that in order for the audience to get their money’s worth, there has to be a lot of nudity. And this film does not disappoint in that department. Even the guys get naked! You bet! Johnny Depp is fully nude at one point. We only see his backside, but I’ll bet his female (and some male) fans will be totally satisfied. It appears this film was made before he started getting all of those tattoos. I didn’t notice one on him. The film relies on physical comedy or “slapstick” for most of the laughs. The script has few memorable lines, but it really doesn’t need them to get the point across. That poor guy who plays the head of hotel security continually gets the crap beat out of him as the action unfolds. So does Elizondo.
Depp is appealing in one of his earliest roles. I doubt that he was asked many questions about it when he went Inside the Actor’s Studio, however. Maybe Depp looks back on this film and smiles as he remembers a more simple time in his life. Who knows? Morrow as the more shy one of the two main characters is also very likable. It’s good to see he still works, too. Andrew Clay is featured, and this is before he became known as the “Diceman”. He is shirtless on one scene, and he appears to have more hair on his shoulders than on his entire back! Really, there isn’t much more one can say about this film. It hits all the notes it intended to hit. The cast takes juvenile material and makes the most of it. Elizondo in particular stands out. You can even sense a few ad-libs he may have thrown in in some scenes that add to the fun. Also, there is a welcomed appearance by the large-chested policewoman from the Police Academy movies. The film hasn’t even aged all that badly, except for the obvious changes in female swimwear. But, since most of the women in the film end up naked in their scenes, it really doesn’t matter what they’re wearing, does it?